Compliments & The Ring Of Confidence

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On Sunday I was out at the front of my house when a young girl passed by, it was a gorgeous summer day and she had an equally gorgeous summer dress on. As she went by I complimented her on the dress, saying how nice it was. Her reaction was to immediately say thank you and then follow up by telling me how cheap it had been (£15).

This week I ran a workshop on the subject of assertiveness and during this we spent some time talking about confidence – what it was? where it came from? and how to get it? Confidence seems to be a very elusive quality and I really wish I had the capability to go to Woolworths and buy a bag of confidence, (a bit like you buy pick and mix sweets), I’d love to be able to sprinkle some on people.

Do you remember the very old toothpaste advert? It said use x toothpaste and you too will get the ring of confidence! It never ever ceases to amaze me how often people tell me they don’t have confidence, and often seemingly very confident people.

Anyhow, our conversations on the workshop concluded that we actually felt a lot more confident when people either said thank you or even better paid us a compliment.

This led me to reflect about the girl on Sunday, how many of us when we do get a compliment, brush it aside, in her case by telling me how cheap the dress had been.

And also, my thought process led me even further – if we all feel more confident when we receive a compliment why don’t we shower or sprinkle them out a bit more often?

This week I’ve had several compliments – people coming up at the end of my workshop and shaking my hand and saying thank you and how useful they had found it, another person emailing me to say well done. I like the young girl on Sunday, went to shrug my shoulders and say it’s nothing, but managed to resist the temptation to do so.

So this week see how many genuine compliments you can distribute – and see what the response is. When you receive a compliment – just accept it in the spirit it was given and give yourself a pat on the back and add it to your confidence bank!

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