I can’t believe how redundancy has hit me, I feel like someone has died.

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The symptoms of bereavement don’t just apply to when someone has died they also apply to some of the many changes that occur through life, be this a divorce or job loss.

Very often subconsciously we have attached a lot of who we are, our identity to our job, our job title and how we spend our working day.  People often say to me “I know it’s a job and not me that has been made redundant, but it doesn’t feel like that”.

Some things that can support you as you transition through this time are:-

  • Acknowledging that you will experience a vast range of different emotions, some days feeling as is you can take on the world, and others where you just want to stay under the duvet.
  • Accepting that this is just how things are at the moment for you. And resisting the temptation to judge or criticise yourself that you are feeling this way.
  • Being kind to yourself, by not pushing yourself to apply for this job or that job if it doesn’t feel right or you perceive that’s what you really ought to be doing.
  • Give yourself some time, the process cannot be rushed.  We are all very different and this means there is no magic timeline that can be applied.
  • Feel free to feel angry, simply allowing yourself to be angry instead of putting a lid on it and telling yourself that feeling this way is silly or irrational. People very often feel angry towards their ex boss, the person who made the actual decision.
  • Resisting the temptation to beat yourself up, for example by saying you should or ought to be doing something.
  • If you have a partner, sharing with them how you are feeling.  They too will have been impacted by what has happened to you, and they might be feeling at a loss to know what to say or do to best support you.·
  • Try focusing on some things you enjoy, this might be running, sewing, or sky diving.  Taking some time to focus on things that will give you a boost, rather than drain you.
  • Review your support network, who can you spend time with who gives you energy, listens, and makes you feel good?  Seeking out these people will again give you a boost.
  • Consider talking to a career coach, they offer a confidential service and can provide impartial practical support to you.

 

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